Mother's day is celebrated every year on the second Sunday in the month of May. When we hear about Mother's Day, it reminds us of our mother, her sacrifices, her values, etc. but why do we remember all these things only on Mother's Day? There is actually no special day to recognise all these things. They are a part of us every day!
On this occasion, CitySpidey spoke with Priyanka Sagar Maheshwari. She is an entrepreneur, storyteller, makeup artist, and passionate parent. She has two children – a girl and a boy – beautifully named Sara and Osho.
Priyanka shared her views as a mother, “My younger sister and I have been born and brought up in a nuclear family. As you know that the nuclear family has a warm and close-knit environment, all the decisions were taken by all four members. When we planned vacation, every member would give slips with their name of the member and their respective destination. There was a feeling of empowerment and inclusion that my parents gave us. When I look back, I think my parents adopted a ‘free parenting’ style and they never imposed anything on us.”
“When I became a mother, I was so passionate about parenting. I wanted to attend parenting workshops, I wished to learn and do new things for my children. One day I had self-talk. I realised that God has given me very sincere children, so why am I making such extra efforts?
My parents gave me the freedom to choose things in my life and they always told me that if you ever fall down, don't panic as you will learn a lesson from that, so learn to stand up by yourself,” she said.
She further added, “Our elders always tell us that if you want to learn a new route, take your scooter and drive in that area, you will never forget the roads where you drive your scooter. On the journey of parenting, I realised that the struggle of my childrens' life is after all for them to take on. I can only empower them and tell them that they are capable of handling their struggles themselves. This will help them make a bright future. Success is a lousy teacher. From failure, we always learn. As a parent, I will say that letting them fall and rising up on their own and will ignite confidence and self-growth. Do not fish for them. Teach them how to fish.”
Priyanka also added, “In this pandemic, all parents are worried for their children's future because the schools are closed and online classes are shut. Every parent wants that their children learn something new. What if we view it as an opportunity to connect with their heart and souls? Why don't we use this lockdown to spend some quality time with them? It isn't those expensive gadgets they really need. Let's share our stories with them. Let's talk with them and more importantly hear them out. This interaction with them, friendly conversations, and indoor play will help them cope up with the fears and uncertainty. It will teach them all that you wished to teach them through books and classes. Watch a movie with them and after the movie, ask about what they liked about it. Share what touched you about the movie. Yes, be carefully careless!”
“We are stuck at home. It's a very difficult phase for all of us. Often we stress about our financial conditions. However, children are also anxious. They feel irritated because they don't know these emotions. They feel a void as they are not meeting their friends. Let's step down from being watchdogs and policemen, judges and masters, let's become their friends in this pandemic. This will teach you and your child a lot,” Priyanka said.
“Let them drive on their own journey but it doesn't mean that parents have no responsibilities. Parents must give them exposure to possibilities but whether the child wants to do it or not, depends on his/her choice. Our work is to help them explore. Children are not our trophies and neither are they here to complete their parent’s unfulfilled dreams and desires... I strongly believe this and will be happy even if one parent adapts this wide and open approach towards happy parenting,” Priyanka added.
She said, “I learn so much from my children, literally daily they teach me new things and am very happy about it. My husband and I, are both working. I would like to say that this can never have a negative impact on your children. It is on us how we and when we give them our quality time. When I am free from my work, I spend my time with my children with full mindfulness. It is the quality that matters not the quantity. Zindagi badi honi chahiye, lambi nahi. My favourite dialogue from the movie ‘3 idiots’ is 'Kaabil bano, kaamyabi tumhare peeche ayegi’ and I want to imbibe this in my children.”
She concluded, “I always share stories of my failures with my children. I share how I slept on a bundle of books during my CA studies. I didn't get a peaceful sleep then because I never put the books away. I tell them how I failed. They must know that failure is an important part of our life and I want to teach these things to my children because, without tasting failure, they can't value success. So do not be afraid of failure. If I can tell one thing to my kids as a mother, I will say, ‘khul ke jiyo’ because you live only once!”