How to deal with emotional pain

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How to deal with emotional pain

Here is a psychological view on why emotional pain plays an important role in our life

How to deal with emotional pain

An old adage says, "Time heals all wounds." Physical hurt lessens gradually with the healing process of the body, but what about emotional pain?

Everyone faces some or other form of emotional pain in their life due to the loss of loved ones, failing at a desirable goal and a lot more. It is easy to accept emotion over a negative one, but believe it or not, pain is equally important.

The more you indulge yourself in meaningful activities, the better you understand your life. If pain is viewed with a different perspective in life, it results in the realisation of our mistakes, emotional maturity, courage to take risks, better handling of relationships and most importantly knowing ourselves better.

Here is a psychological view on why emotional pain plays an important role in our life

A never-ending or intense emotional pain can have detrimental effects. It can cause damage to various areas of a person's life. But if understood with an open mind, it creates opportunities for an individual to learn new and better coping mechanisms, increase understanding about the needs and limitations of the self.

How to deal with pain
Psychologist, Shipra Lamba says "emotional pain is a very powerful tool if explored, understood and utilized patiently. It can result in novel realizations leading to optimum changes. If the pain is ignored it can result in problems such as anxiety, depression, social withdrawal, emotional distress, anger, shame, increased stress, body pains, intrapersonal and interpersonal issues and making a person dysfunctional in various roles. Therefore it is important that appropriate and timely action such as psychological intervention or medical help is taken when necessary."

Do not suppress your pain
On one hand, understanding our negative emotions becomes difficult due to a lot of interference from different situations in our life. On another hand, some people tend to ignore or suppress negative emotions. Both the cases gradually result in more pain and frustration in one's life. Therefore prioritising your own needs and self-understanding is a must. Ms Lamba says "Constructive and appropriate coping plays a big role in how we handle the emotional highs and lows in our life."

She added, "If a person experiences excessive indulgence in behaviours such as screen time, shopping, drinking, drugs, sleeping, eating, exercising, staying alone or approaching people, mood swings, overreacting, unrealistic fears then he or she may be finding it hard to deal with their emotional pain. If a person does not deal with these issues correctly, it can unconsciously or consciously affect our well-being adversely."

Experiencing and understanding emotional pain in life brings a habit of accepting and taking an efficient action to understand and cure this emotional pain rather than suppressing it like a volcano.

How to cope up with emotional pain?
Here are the steps suggested by Psychologist, Shipra Lamba to follow to cope up with emotional pain.

Communication is the key: Sharing one's pain sometimes help lessen it. Learning to communicate effectively can help forge stronger relationships.

Practising mindfulness: Meditation can help a person to stay in the present and observe what the person is feeling and going through at the moment.

Understand yourself: We often do not apply the same ideas that we console others with. Be kind to yourself, and give yourself empathy, space and time to heal. Create boundaries with certain people if required. Keep a journal regarding your emotional patterns so that you can understand the triggers and how you respond.

Explore:  Learn about different types of emotions so that you know what you are feeling. Share your feelings and thoughts with the people you trust and love, this creates bonding moments.

Relax: Engaging in exercising and other physical activities can help in the production of endorphins and practice gratitude.

Help yourself: Reach out for professional help where you can have the space to allow the negative emotions to flow and learn how to deal with them and learn better ways to express yourself. Aim for regulation and not suppression or repression.

In the end, Ms Shipra Lamba says, "Turning on the light can give temporary relief from the fear of darkness, but it does not relieve us from the actual fear. Only facing the darkness can destroy its fear once and for all. Similarly, we must try to face our pain instead of avoiding it"