We love to think about love, we love to fall in love, but what holds us back?
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We love to think about love, we love to fall in love, but what holds us back?

Unknown fear and some kind of insecurities do not let us fall in love easily

We love to think about love, we love to fall in love, but what holds us back?

Dwarka: Whenever we listen to the word ‘love’ then a certain kind of emotion starts pouring in our senses and that happens due to our imagery sights of the future which is unknown to us. We love to think about love, we love to imagine about love and we love to fall in love but still something holds us back. We wish to fall for someone but unknown fear and some kind of insecurities do not let us fall in love easily. 

It’s a true fact of life that we all want to be loved by someone who will continue to be the pillar of support and source of inspiration. The urge to be with someone special makes us feel the need of emotional attachment which is natural but now people feel scared to fall in love. It may sound strange but it is true that falling in love is not easy.

Communications professional, life coach, author and poet, Ankurita Pathak 40, a resident of Dwarka has shared some of her experiences and opinions for this situation. 

Ankurita Pathak

“Love is a complex emotion and it is manifested along with an array of other emotions. Why I call it complex is because love makes you do crazy stuff. And if we look around in the past and present, we have seen the best of stories and worst of incidents when it comes to love. From sacrifices to sacrileges we have seen and heard it all. There can be no easy answer to this issue because we humans are so unique in our thoughts and emotions that we cannot generalize any solution. Our personal experiences and taking on the situations influence it all,” said Ankurita.

Irrespective of the desperate need for love many of us shy away or feel scared to fall in love and the reason could be anything. Here are five problems which create fear from love. Experts have expressed their opinions regarding these five specific reasons that create fear and insecurities that stop you from falling in love.

Hold our family value

This is quite common in India where people cannot go against their families. Love marriages are still taboo in many parts of the country. Falling in love leads to going against the family value which creates differences and disputs and many fear to pursue their love.

Exposed to getting hurt

As the experts say the cases of nowadays are influencing our pursuit of love. We see the love relationship gone wrong and put ourselves into their shoes to compare. We fear getting hurt as in a relationship we will be more exposed and vulnerable.

Family patterns of divorce

If your family has a history of divorces and bad marriages you may fear getting into the same situation. As you have seen those situations closely and from a young age this can be your fear.

Old trauma

We all have a different life and different situations. Our bad situations stick with us always and restrict us in many ways. We may have an issue of bad temper, hurting our loved ones or getting hurt. This old trauma will pull you back from agreeing to love.

Separation from the family of origin

When you fall in love you do not judge the person by the place of their origin. If your partner belongs to a different caste and culture you may fear leaving your roots behind in daily practice. The fear of adjusting to a new culture can be demanding. This can be another reason according to the experts to stay away from love.

“Understanding and loving your own self before anyone else is the key to getting through it suggests the experts. "With time, one will understand that the more important thing is to know the inner self better before trying to find love. This will not help displace fear but will definitely help overcome the fear. Every heart has its own mechanism and thus, will find its own way through love,” says Ankurita.