Damned traffic rules, its Noida!

Don't like to be told when to stop and when to start by anyone, least of all by traffic signals... Routinely jump red lights, at least five or more times a day, with impunity… Adept at hurling cuss words at fellow commuters along the way with effortless ease?

The aforementioned quintessential characteristics are part of the trait that makes you belong to a tribe of Noida. How else would you identify a planned city where everything is unplanned? It is this inherent aversion to all things lawful, especially traffic norms that makes us truly Noidans.

• Hence, no traffic rules please, we are Noidans!

You think all the problems arising from traffic congestion can be withered away by one magic tool at your disposal: the horn. You use this wonder device freely and impulsively enough to be mistaken for borderline addiction. Your day is incomplete without delivering at least ten loud, blaring head-turning honks that herald your identity.

• Honk along the way to make it loud and clear that you are from Noida.

In Noida, while driving if you come across to spot someone you know in a passing car, it is bad manners not to stop by at an instant, roll down window pane of your car to say ‘hello’.

You may even take time off for an hour-long conversation, let rest of the world be damned. How else would you know Bunty’s aunty is engaged to Pinki’s uncle? If people honking incessantly behind sounds like symphony played in the background of your everlasting tête-à-tête, rest assured you are a blue-blooded Noidan.

• Noida roads are after all extended social networking sites for you.

You are always a go-getter, no matter what. You feel it your birth right to be in the forefront, no matter what strategy you employ to achieve it, be it pushing, shoving and forcing your way up. Standing in the queue is a degrading experience in your lexicon. By racing to the front of every queue you have encountered you have proved a point.

• Queue is for the rest. It starts from where you stand.

You take the shortest route to your destination. So what if you drive down the wrong side and service lanes half the time? The unspoken ‘road code’ of Noida demands that your speed has to be proportionate to the number of vehicles you are driving into head-on. Driving on the wrong side if you have a history of being like a deer caught in the headlights of a rapidly approaching bus, it is reassuring to note that you are from Noida.

• Swim against the tide, you are from Noida.