As a parent, we want the best of everything for our children. Yet, over sudden bouts of anger, sometimes we do not know what to do. Kids are more likely to get angry in the initial stage of their life. It can tend to happen when a child does not understand his or her own emotions or is not able to communicate them. The other scenario could be when parents are not able to perceive a child's thoughts. In such situations, a child may try to communicate through anger, sadness, or crying which is sometimes perceived as misbehaviour by parents.
To help your little one and yourself as a parent, you need to understand and bring mindful changes in parenting. Especially when your kid is throwing tantrums. So here are some techniques and changes you should follow to help your kid with anger management.
Teach your child about feelings: A person facing difficulty in verbalising emotions ends up getting angry and frustrated. So to help your child with anger, you need to teach them about the various emotions. Begin by teaching them a few basic words by labelling feelings. Such as mad, happy, scared and sad. The next time your child would get angry, converse with them and say " It seems like you are angry right now. What do you want? How can I help you?" When they seem happy, tell them " You feel so happy, it is great for me to see you like this." Over time, they will learn to understand every emotion and then you can move forward with some more deep words like frustration, irritation, lonely, worried and anxiety. Do not lose patience and hit your children as this could lead to children not sharing their emotions.
Anger thermometer: this can be a helpful step that will let your kiddo express and communicate their level of emotions. You can create a scale ranging from 0 to 10 on a page and ask your little one to range their feelings according to number. For say they will signify towards 0 when they'll be fine. When your kid is angry, talk to them about the changes they experience in their body. They might feel hot, want to shout or make a fist. At that time, you can tell them about the number on the anger thermometer according to the rage of anger. With time they will learn to recognize their own emotions and when it is getting out of control. This way they'll be able to control it when you will ask them to have a break in between it.
Do not give in to their tantrums: When your little one starts throwing tantrums at you, do not give in to them. If your child is demanding chocolate and you say no, a meltdown may start. If you offer them chocolate, they will find it effective and do it regularly. In the short term, you may also feel okay with this technique but in the long run, this attitude will give behaviour issues. Another thing parents have to understand is the real reason behind the meltdown. Many times a kid is not feeling okay, has incomplete sleep or they might not be able to convey their feelings.
Develop a calm down plan: Teach your kid to calm down, when they are getting angry. Tell them to have their own ways of calming down instead of throwing blocks. Prepare a calming kit for them which contains their favourite colouring books, favourite toy, lotion they love to smell or some games. Other than this you can also offer them to explore some new activities like singing or dancing. So next time they will get angry and tell them to go and grab their calming kit. This will help them to take responsibility for their own emotions.
Avoid violent media: An excessive dose of video games can affect your child's behaviour. If this exposure gets dominant, children may get an idea to express their anger through the same actions. Expose them to positive sites, books, games and healthy conflicts.
Remember kids are not born with negative emotions, they do not enjoy being angry. Anger occurs when they are not able to deliver what they feel. So try to understand their hidden emotions and what they want to convey.
