How to encourage children to manage loss and sadness

Children behave differently from adults and have distinct ways of processing complex emotions. However, that doesn't mean that they don't grieve and that your children aren't affected by sorrow.

When a child loses a loved one, you may not be aware that they are in sorrow. Kids and teenagers use numerous methods to express their grief. When someone is depressed, they frequently verbally convey their unhappiness. But based on their age, they might only occasionally or fleetingly exhibit grief. Children may express bodily aches and pains like headaches or stomachaches or show anxiety or distress over other challenges like sports or school.

We talked to Gazal Choudhary, a practising psychologist and life skill trainer about how to encourage children to communicate their grief. Here are some points shared by her-

It is okay to not be okay

As children, we are often told that crying means you're not brave. Sadness is not something that can be made better by locking inside. You must acknowledge your child's sadness and show patience in the face of it. Your child will experience new waves of grief throughout their entire life since grief does not adhere to a predetermined time frame.

Let your feelings be known

You might tell children how you are feeling and demonstrate to them some good strategies to deal with the feelings that they are experiencing. Be sure to make a place for their responses as well, even if they are going to be different from yours.

Sorrow is different

Every youngster experiences loss in their unique way. After losing a loved one, they may experience a range of feelings including grief, anger, fear, guilt, numbness, or relief. They may feel all of these feelings among others all at once or at a variety of times after the passing.

Tell it like it is

Use concrete language. Distribute information in manageable chunks. When they feel the need for additional information, your child will come to you with questions. You will be able to assist them in finding the answer afterwards.

Pay attention

Greet them where they're at and make an effort to comprehend the responses they give. Don't try to mould their responses to fit your notions of how mourning ought to look; it will just make things worse.

Remember the deceased with respect

Talk it over with your kid, and figure out some methods to remember your departed loved one. The pandemic is making it impossible to perform some rites. You are capable of explaining what this means to you while describing what it is you might have done at different periods in your life.