Life is never too easy, it’s a bumpy ride with several hurdles in your way. As humans, we constantly look for answers of questions like- Is this the right path? Am I good enough? and that’s where we raise self-doubts.
Let us start by understanding the term “Self Doubt”. Psychology defines Self as the totality of the individual, consisting of all characteristics attributes, conscious and unconscious, mental and physical(APA). In lay language, self is a sense of who you are. Having a “doubt” is being unsure. In simple words, self-doubt is being uncertain of the self.
Reasons for Self-doubts
Self-uncertainty might come from past regrettable encounters. Those with issues to connect with people might have episodes being reprimanded that can add to self-question further down the road. If somebody has been told in the past that they're "not sufficient" or unequipped for something, then, at that point, this can have a vast unfriendly impact on their self-esteem. We additionally have a profound cultural strain to accomplish, which can be more unsafe than spurring.
While talking with Psychologist Shipra Lamba, she told us, “Self-doubt can have its origin from various backgrounds. It can occur as an effect or consequence of a recent failure, multiple failures, childhood experiences, comparison, thought patterns, perception, expectations, etc. Incongruence arises when the ideal self or who we long to be becomes distant apart from who we are. It is essential to understand self to subside this incongruence and enhance self-esteem and confidence in ourselves.”
How to overcome self-doubt?
-Practice self-compassion
-Remember your past achievements
-Try not to compare yourself to others
-Be mindful of your thinking
-Spend time with supportive people
-Find validation from within
-Identify your value
Psychologist and well-being coach Lamba, says that by exploring the patterns and context of self-doubting thoughts and feelings, one can better understand self and figure out the actions needed to enhance self-esteem. For example, having doubts that you will not be able to give a good speech, use these feelings as cues, explore them, find evidence in support or against the self-doubting thought, plan better, practice more, break bigger goals to smaller goals, talk to someone etc.
Every situation, every emotion we feel, comes with two options to choose from, to dwell into it and accept it as reality or to transcend it by exploring it, understanding it and by facing it.
Our thoughts, feelings and behaviour work together, influencing each other. Hence it is essential to hold positive feelings about ourselves because these will affect the choices we make. Working on improving self-esteem, increasing confidence will help us live a fuller life.
“Self-doubt comes with a choice, to prove it right by quitting or to prove it wrong by challenging it", says Lamba.
We stay in a society in which its norms and ideals try to constraint us in a particular way. If you allow those ideals to manipulate you, you'll continually be correcting yourself accordingly.
We need to recognize ourselves higher with our gaze and now no longer with cultural standards.
