Connections make moments!

There are moments in life that you clearly remember, like finishing school, the first day in college, the first salary, getting married, and so forth. Research has found that in recalling an experience you ignore most of what happened and focus instead on a few particular moments.

People rate the experience based on the best or worst and the ending. For instance, how do you capture moments? One is Photography which can 'freeze' the moment. In an experiment at Fairfield University (2013), a Psychologist, Linda Henkel, wondered if "documenting every moment might cause us to lose the very memories we long to immortalize."

A few ways to capture the moment are to put the phone away; listen more than you speak; make eye contact; embrace spontaneity and be mindful.

Some moments just feel light and some become heart-touching. Why? Because people are involved in those with whom you attach your emotions, and give importance. You not only recall but also put effort into reliving or recreating those moments with them.

As per a survey, you'll meet around 80,000 people in your life but only a few will be special to you. You don't often get a chance to make that many truly meaningful conversations, so when you do, it's worth making an effort to hold on to them.

Making a strong connection with someone is like adding value to life. Connection means the state of being related to someone. Whereas moments in life are the specific events that fundamentally change you. In every relationship, there are milestones that you can recall vividly, moments that give warmth and fuzzies. The moment is a short experience that is both meaningful and memorable. The moment has four elements such as elevation, insight, pride, and connection.

You may have met people in your neighbourhood, school, university, and at your workplace. You also have acquaintances, family members, relatives, etc. However, you choose only a few as your friends. How many of your friends stay with you in life? Not many stay together for a longer period. A friend is one with whom you have a bond of mutual affection, who is with you on the journey of life, seeing you happy, cry and laugh together. Guides and support in many phases. That's basic. But it depends on the individual thinking about what the meaning of friendship and true relationship is. Few are worthy and some are not.

Why do you like some people more than others?

It is because you like people to the extent that your interactions with them are rewarding or reinforcing. Proximity, attitude similarity, and physical attractiveness are specific factors to affect the degree of attraction.

John Thibaut and Harold Kelley have proposed a Social Exchange theory as a framework for thinking about social relationships. This therapy emphasizes the interdependence of social relationships. It states that the quality of the outcomes experienced by two people engaged in a relationship depends on the behaviour of both participants.

Maintaining a strong relationship requires constant care and communication, and certain traits are especially important for fostering healthy relationships. You should feel confident because you are willing to devote time and attention to your friend. You must also be committed to accommodating the differences, even as these change over time.
The things you celebrate don’t have to be life-changing events like weddings, the birth of a child, or even gaining a driver’s license. You should take time to celebrate the smaller things too: a shower of rain after a dry spell, or a child learning to ride a bike (although that is a life-changing event for the youngster). Need not shrug your shoulders and move on. Take joy in every positive thing and be thankful; even with all the issues facing today, you still have so much to be grateful for.

According to research conducted by Dr Robert A. Emmons of the University of California Davis and Dr Michael McCullough of the University of Miami, people who approach every day with an attitude of celebration and gratitude have more energy, feel less stress and anxiety, are more likely to help others, exercise regularly, get a better night’s sleep, have improved physical health, and make greater progress toward achieving personal goals. All of these benefits were reported by people who simply made a weekly list of things for which they were grateful.

A Psychologist, Peter Gollwitzer has studied the way this preloading affects our behaviour. His research shows that when people make advance mental commitments - if X happens, then I will do Y - they are substantially more likely to act in support of their goals than people who lack those mental plans.

Responsiveness encompasses three things:

Understanding: My friend knows how I see myself and what is important to me.
Validation: My friend respects who I am and what I want.
Caring: My friend takes active and supportive steps in helping me meet my needs.

You are busy and so distracted by technology - social media that you forget to live, laugh; stay happy in the present moment. Many people have become over-competitive in nature which may lead to stress.

It is seen that people are fond of big things, big achievements, and big goals, but they fail to appreciate the importance of small things. Moments are not always made by expensive and luxurious things but a soft hug, a small get-together, can add to make a memorable moment. Having goals and working towards them, having dreams, and fulfilling them is a completely different thing compared to enjoying small moments.

Be focused on your journey to success but don't forget to enjoy the journey and create moments in life. Always appreciate life, be grateful, enjoy self-acceptance, and find time for yourself and your loved ones.

About the writer

Anamika is a Clinical Psychologist. She specializes in exceptional children and is an educational counsellor associated with NGOs. She also writes articles for wellbeingfinance.com